Feelings…Nothing More Than Feelings…..

Those who know about my adoption will often ask how I’m feeling about it.  Which seems to me such an odd question, odd because my own feelings change and sometimes all in the same day.  Now, I’m sure, even expecting Mother’s feel all the same emotions so I don’t feel too odd having a range of emotions at all.

First, I get anxious because it could be a long time or a short time before I’m placed with a child.  Who knows how long and being a good Buddhist I practice not dwelling on that which has not happened yet.  But that unknown, for someone who likes to put a little planning in things, can cause some anxiety.

Second, I could not be more excited, or look more forward to being placed.  A dream come true to have a child of my own that will most likely happen soon in the future.  And that excitement then leads to “FREAKING OUT”; will I be a good Mother, will I know what to do, how can I keep her off the pole or him away from the pole.  Sorry, bad humor, exotic dancer reference…get it…..keep her off and him away…..right…ok, anyway.

There is so much to think about; disposable vs. cloth (pick environment and the child or the child or the environment and not the child), glass bottles, maybe I get a toddler……..who knows.

What I do know is I’m ready and able to handle anything that gets thrown my way, as a Mom or in this process of becoming a Mom.  Awwwe man I just hit “A tear is not coming to my eyes”.  See what I mean, emotions all over the board and I’m not even pregnant and dealing with hormones!

Oh crap…from a tear in my eye to freak out again…..later ;)

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August 2, 2008 | Filed Under adoption 

Comments

2 Responses to “Feelings…Nothing More Than Feelings…..”

  1. starrgrrrl on August 5th, 2008 8:48 pm

    Good luck keeping her off, or him away from the pole ;) Let me know if you need any help on that one, and I’ll tell you exactly why I did it to piss my parents off) ;)

    P.s.. You’re gonna be great!

  2. kvockler on August 6th, 2008 9:50 am

    Ha! Ya, we both know how tough that is. Totally hope I didn’t offend. Keeping away or off is tough! ;)

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