My Lawyer is Right…Waiting is the Hardest Part
Ok, so she was right, the wait is the hardest. What’s worse is I’m already looking at my watch and I’m early into the waiting process. I’ve had some cases referred to me, some fell through right away due to baby health issues and some are still in the wait and hopes that the BM might like me. While waiting for feedback from BM’s, just waiting for referrals can be tough. What’s hard is being ready, having everything lined up and ready to go, yet having to wait wait wait. I know how marketing and getting the word out works, normally the more you get out there the more chances one has to find what they are looking for. It’s tough when you only have a few referrals in the works, the odds of thing lining up are tough. Yet I just keep looking and checking websites and talking to people and letting everyone know I’m looking for a child.
It will happen but as with most things in life, probably not fast enough. 
Now is a good time to practice what I’ve learned as a Buddhist and just be in the moment, creating suffering by looking to the future and looking at the watch won’t do any good.
I guess I’ll just go sit….
Namaste,
Kris
Adoption Update: A Few In The Works
Ok, I’m thinking I might look back at this day and say “wow, I sure got excited for nothing” but then again, I could look back and say “that was the day I first thought of you my child”. Just got a couple of referrals to look at and they seem great. Nothing to be done unless the birth mom’s say they like me and pick me, then I can dive into questions and investigating history and all that.
BUT….the exciting part is I actually have my profile out to some parents and with any luck they will like me.
More to come…..
My Adoption Profile is Posted
Know someone who wants to find an adoptive parent, why not me? Look to the right, third heading down, go download it and give it out.
Kris
ADOPTION UPDATE: The Search is ON!
Got through to my Lawyer, all is well and we meet next week to go over our action plan for finding a baby! I’m one of those who just need a forward direction, it can take time, really, I’ll be cool with it. Right…but anyway, a forward direciton is in the works!
For those who are looking for good contacts, check out my list:
Adoption Lawyer: Marie M. Tilden, Attorney at Law, Phone: 360.695.0290
Lori Whittaker, MSW, Adoption Home Studies, Phone: 360.5476.6597
Adoption Referral Services my Lawyer told me about:
Baby Butterflys, www.babybutterflys.com
Hands to Hold, www.handstohold.com
Other refferal sites I’m trying:
Adopt Now! Hotline, www.abcadoptions.com
Agencies recommended to me:
Journeys of the Heart (Portland) www.journeysoftheheart.com
As always, I’m done with the Home Study and ready for any referrals you might have for me. If you know anyone thinking of adopting, give them a copy of my profile here, and have them give me a call.
Kris
Checking In…Anything New?
Nope…
Home study is done and the ball is in my lawyer’s court but I can’t seem to get my lawyer to call me back. It’s been a week and a half and several emails/phone calls but no response. I hope I picked a good one, she comes very recommended. I think it’s not too much to ask that someone call me back within 24 hours. Unless that person is on vacation or something. 24 hours…..it’s my rule at least.
Adoption Update: Fingerprint Check Done!
Just got an email from my social worker doing my home study and my FBI checks came back just fine. Home Study will be done tonight and sent to my lawyer tomorrow! Wow, first part of the process done, now what? More to come on that but the Home Study is done and I come highly recommended in being a Mom.
Wow…
To The Child I Don’t Have Yet
Dear _________;
Today was a busy day, one of those that seems frantic at times; the phone rings it seems like all day, projects are bumped up in time, confusions need to be organized. And then 5PM comes around and it’s time to come home. While in the car I’m thinking about how nice it will be to come home to you and just have to be with you. It consumed my whole drive home and I liked it. So after I get home I pour a beer and sit in the sun on the back deck. I start to think about all the things I’ll have to teach you “we” don’t do and then I started to think about how I might prepare for what those “things” are. I started to watch the dogs and decided on a few things:
- First I thought I should tell you we don’t dig under the deck as Xandie does
- Then I thought; “Why would you do that” and then I reminded myself that my parents had to tell me that we don’t draw white stick figures all around the side of the house, at the height a 5 year old would. (Didn’t know it at the time, as you might not as well).
- Next I pondered if I’d have to tell you we don’t eat dog poop, but then decided this was something I only had to tell the dogs, and then again thought I’d write it down just in case.
- Looking around I saw the red berries on the neighbors plant that comes over on our side, there will have to be a whole series of conversations on “why we don’t put things in our mouths”, even poop.
- Then there was the time I didn’t know, at 5 I guess, that one doesn’t bang their metal toy against the aluminum camper door, just to see how it leaves many marks. Learned that one the hard way.
- Oh and what about why we don’t cut our own hair as my goddaughter Katelynn has done.
I had to stop at that point because I started to freak out a bit and it scared me at all the possible things you won’t know we don’t do but you will try anyway, unless I’m there to stop you. Besides it was time to feed your furry brother and sister to be (Sid and Xandra), which reminded me that I’ll have to tell you we don’t eat the dogs food even if they do.
Looking forward to meeting you little one, why are you taking so long to find me?
Adoption UPDATE: Feds Charge for Fingerprint Check
I’m thinking…now how do I make this funny…can’t do it. Noticed on my bank website today that the FBI charged my card for my fingerprint check! One more step closer to finishing the home study!
Feelings…Nothing More Than Feelings…..
Those who know about my adoption will often ask how I’m feeling about it. Which seems to me such an odd question, odd because my own feelings change and sometimes all in the same day. Now, I’m sure, even expecting Mother’s feel all the same emotions so I don’t feel too odd having a range of emotions at all.
First, I get anxious because it could be a long time or a short time before I’m placed with a child. Who knows how long and being a good Buddhist I practice not dwelling on that which has not happened yet. But that unknown, for someone who likes to put a little planning in things, can cause some anxiety.
Second, I could not be more excited, or look more forward to being placed. A dream come true to have a child of my own that will most likely happen soon in the future. And that excitement then leads to “FREAKING OUT”; will I be a good Mother, will I know what to do, how can I keep her off the pole or him away from the pole. Sorry, bad humor, exotic dancer reference…get it…..keep her off and him away…..right…ok, anyway.
There is so much to think about; disposable vs. cloth (pick environment and the child or the child or the environment and not the child), glass bottles, maybe I get a toddler……..who knows.
What I do know is I’m ready and able to handle anything that gets thrown my way, as a Mom or in this process of becoming a Mom. Awwwe man I just hit “A tear is not coming to my eyes”. See what I mean, emotions all over the board and I’m not even pregnant and dealing with hormones!
Oh crap…from a tear in my eye to freak out again…..later 
Secrets Out! I’m Adopting!
Alright alright, here it is, the big secret is…….I’m adopting a baby. 95% of you who know me just nodded your heads and said “we knew it would happen” and the other 5% hit their heads on whatever was behind them as they fell back in their chairs. Oh and no, that’s not the baby in this post, in fact, I don’t even know where I found it but I’d provide the photo credits if I could. Next email will be from an irrate Mother who has the same last name as this child.
So how did this happen, well we can weed out me getting pregnant….the who Adopting thing gives that away. Basically, it’s something I’ve always wanted, a child that is, but it’s something I’ve ignored and stuffed and said no way, just pass me another martini instead. Usually after an 8 hour plane ride next to a very upset baby.
Ok, Ok, I’m in Peru, but I had been thinking of adopting for quite a while, and seriously while there I had one of those Oprah “Ah Ha” moments wher I just knew I wanted to be a Mother. All the stars started to align and I started the process. But why a blog? Well, I like blogs and some of my favorite Mommy types blog (Dooce.com) so it seemed natural. Most important was that I realized I needed to keep a log of what’s happening, I’ve already forgotten how some of the emotions have felt in realizing I wanted to do this. Well, what better way to remember than to tell everyone. With boundaries of course…….I hope…..
Long story short: Got home from Peru and was bent on adopting from Peru. Researched the heck out of things and where I could adopt as a single person. Peru adopts to singles in the 7-8 year range, and I don’t want to miss out on the beginning eventhough I love Peru. Armenia……Kazakhstan…..Marshall Island….all viable. Picked my Lawyer and started the process. She convinced me that I have much to offer a child as well as I have what many want when they give up their child so Domestic it is! 0-3 years of age and there ya have it. Started the Home Study process and now just waiting for the fingerprint check to come back from the FBI.
Kris
Recent Flickr Photos
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Who's Kris?
Whoa...easy, I'm not the one with the smashing camel colored leather jacket, that would be my Mum (circa 1976?), making me the very cute five year old in the smashing knit suit made by my Grandmother.
Home Study Complete!
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Go to: http://public.me.com/laboheme.orchid
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